by Kari, the Sunshinegirl, June 21, 2015
Hello Georgi, I hope this finds you well. I really liked that you have compiled the PAT story and I can’t wait to download them all.
I have been pretty busy with school lately. I decided to stick it out for some reason, even after I told you I was quitting. I don’t know why… maybe it just keeps me occupied during these doldrums… as you so accurately described. I only have 2 more classes so why not?
I was looking through an old journal today when I found a piece that I wrote about how I was raised and my journey to escape that programming! It details some of my journey as a PAT member to when I moved to Hawaii and thought I had found my Lemuria… interestingly enough, parts of Kauai were once Lemuria and I was told by a shaman that I lived there during this time and that is why my heart yearns to see it restored.
I hope you like this. It feels very fitting to share it on the Eve of our transition to New Lemuria.
I opened the door and stepped out into a world that couldn’t uphold me,
couldn’t even recognize me.
And so I cursed my gifts, for what good were they anyway?
Nothing about me fit here… in this world.
I don’t think many caught it – the day the spark left my eye,
they didn’t even question why.
They just figured I’d joined “reality” but I have a secret –
I never really did.
Because I am not a new generation, I am an old soul,
and I am not a follower,
I am a leader.
And I did not come here to learn, but to teach,
and to show,
So, imagine the pain and the deep shock to my heart
when I stepped out ready to be ME,
and was met with dark hostility.
So no, I didn’t finally blend in,
and accept this world,
like you thought I did.
I just retreated to my inner world,
and gave up on yours.
Because you see, yours is sick,
and it is dying a little more everyday,
Everyday you contribute to a disease,
that will eventually dissolve into nothing.
I know you had “high hopes” for me,
that I would succeed at this game and
come to my senses.
I can gladly tell you that I have –
but not in the way you thought I would.
I crossed an ocean to protect myself from the concrete,
that tried to silence my soul.
And from here I write to tell you,
that I am not standing in a penthouse,
but I am standing on green grass.
And I listen to the wind,
instead of cars at night.
And my belly is very acquainted with the Earth.
And I can tell you about sea turtles,
and which flowers smell the best!
I can take you on the most majestic hikes…
but you don’t want to go, do you?
Is it all too beautiful for you?
Too beautiful to believe it’s true?
They taught you to keep striving to be more,
while I was discovering I was always enough.
From here – I preserve my love of self,
and things are simple and they finally make sense.
Because, it was never meant to be hard,
but you were always telling me it was.
And now I know what is about to come,
and it will be proof of my internal world,
and the tears that will come, on that day,
I do hope you will see them,
because that may very well be the first time you ever
When I open that door and step out into a world,
that recognizes me…
a world that sees my gifts.
Where I can expand this SELF as wide as I wish,
And here, you will be the stranger,
but please do not worry.
There will be no harsh words for you,
no one will force you to “fit in” right away,
Then it is your heart that will be shocked,
but you won’t be alone like I was.
I will help you –
because I know this world well,
it was always inside of me.
And what I was trying to tell you,
though I didn’t have the right words always.
Words were never sufficient anyhow,
and so… I rest now,
So that soon, I can show you.