The Portrait of the Light Warrior as a Young Man – II

Daniël Akkerman, April 10, 2015

Dear George,

I very much agree with all the latest updates.

I feel like I have reached a turning point. The total rejection of these terrible human conditions have now reached a peak. In the past, it always felt like there was some kind of coping mechanism, which somehow made the reality bearable, although of course not bearable… we complained about it (and rightfully so), but meanwhile the time flew by.

Yet today I look at my life and how it has been for a while. Some small exceptions set aside, it is always the same. Me, alone in my room, fixing all kinds of shit that I was not responsible for in the first place. And I have done my job well.

And no matter how much I have tried to create a better life for myself under these conditions, it is still kind of the same thing. What I ask of All-That-Is is definitely not unreasonable, and could be done easily. Even all those times the ascension had to be delayed. I see no arguments for the contrary. I feel as if I have created a better reality constantly, and the effects would be way more tangible if only there wasn’t some artificial limitation slowing it down.

Loneliness is the biggest part I think… this is a feeling that persists no matter how many people are around me. Many only make it worse.

Inner balance, yes I have that. But there is something else still, I feel like a huge force that shines as thousand suns. It needs counterpoint, some kind of balance. Continually I grow to include this counterpoint that I need… but such a growth changes me, so what I need then also changes. A frustrating process which feels endless. The famous carrot on a stick used by our souls.

It is a commonly thought that these conditions are somehow good, serve some kind of educational / growth related purpose. But if this was ever true, then it is now most definitely not so anymore. All that has been exhausted, and any perpetuation just seems like a stagnant repetition of negative patterns overcome a long time ago. The same applies to anything that can be read in the news these days, even more so than in the past.

Life is more dichotomous than ever. On one hand one’s consciousness is dissolved into the unity of All-That-Is on a constant basis, on the other a part of life is a lonely and dreadful affair that just doesn’t want to phase out, although it should have a long time ago. In a way one can only believe that it is truly over once it fully is, but in another way this mail seems like something I am already looking back at as an eyewitness account of the last days.

Due to a combination of events I am leaving in a couple of days to go camping. Feels like a trip I have to make for some reason. Although traveling with the LBP is of course not a lot of fun, it feels freeing to get out of this place. I might not even have access to the internet much or at all for a few weeks. It doesn’t seem an unlikely scenario: I leave the city behind and the changes sweep in.

Love & Light,

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