Only Two Options for Russia: Lick NATO’s Boots or Become North Korea
Russia is a friendless loser, and its plan for “self-reliance” is just a sneaky way of saying “we want to become North Korea,” according to The Christian Science Monitor
Have you been visited recently by strange and impossible visions of Russian diplomats shaking hands with foreigners? Or maybe you recall reading somewhere about the so-called “Eurasian Economic Union” or “BRICS”? Have you hallucinated TV segments about historic gas deals with China, or pipelines to Turkey? If so, seek medical help immediately: Your brain has been infected with FSB malware that is currently proton-beaming outlandish holograms into your head. (If you are an American, make sure your dependable healthcare provider covers “FSB brain attacks” before calling an ambulance. Otherwise the hospital bill will be staggering.)
We know about this secret FSB fake news hologram program thanks in part to the diligence of The Christian Science Monitor editorial board:
Feeling rather alone in the world these days, like a schoolyard bully who suddenly finds himself friendless, Russia is now singing a song of economic self-reliance. Yes. Russia is a friendless, singing bully. And the songs it sings are full of loneliness. Everyone remembers that famous Ray Charles song, “The Self-Reliance Blues.” So sad. But heartfelt.
But self-reliance isn’t just about being a friendless loser. It’s also a common symptom of “being North Korea.” Confused? Don’t be:
If [Russia] now returns to a form of autarchy (economic self-reliance), it risks becoming more like North Korea – proud and stable, yes, but weaker, fearful, and perhaps dangerous.
Russia has only two options:
- Give up any hopes of not being completely dependent on the West
- Become North Korea
The choice is yours, Putler.