by Madge Midgely, April 11, 2013
I have followed for about a year an a half now. At times I have felt compelled to write, but have found myself unable to do so. Either blocks in my ability to convey thoughts, or blocks in typing. I have taken it as a sign that when I would be able to, I would. I love writing. Usually I am not too shabby at conveying a message. But the Universe has asked me to be more silent and observing as of late and I can respect that. Anyway, finally after almost a year I have been able to express freely some feelings I have had for what seems like quite a while now.
As a creative person, I have found it to be the most constant and therapeutic activity in my life. I have been published as a writer; sold many paintings and other material creative expressions, as well as been paid as an actor. Everything I ever thought would be a channel for my passion and mission has been squashed by my acute observations in the procedure of politics and ethics in order to “thrive.” Without being bitter, I have settled in a creative disgust. Just as all the PAT knows, we have the potential to create and be SO MUCH MORE than we have allowed ourselves. This has been evident in my heart for a very long time. So I am sharing with you and the PAT my coming out story. A moment of divinity in the internal realization and the inability to neglect it’s effect and reality anymore.
Thank you for all you do, and share. My heart is with you and all of the PAT. LOVE LOVE LOVE.
I’ve just stepped away for a while. From technology that is, as a medium for writing and such. I have found myself feeling rather disconnected from it. In its most useful ways of function, in order to express myself; I have found that recently it does not resonate with me. In fact many things no longer resonate with me, the way they once did.
Take writing for instance. I am so inundated daily by potentials in opinion, and expression, variation on the same old story. So amused, bewildered and astounded by it that I find satisfaction except for the cries of my own ego. As early ago as 1994, it was still a sort of dream to be published or to have the potential of millions of eyes on your own work and complete creative control. Nowadays people who are fulfilling this fantasy/career/ego stroke/ put-in-your-own-definition-
Well then; what about painting, and creating through the art form of the 2 dimensional surface of colors and shapes, shadows and figures…. what about that? Again here we are an Internet abyss with no end. Where ANYONE can upload and share what they doodle dilly doo on what ever their favorite medium is. And sure, yes I LOVE THIS! I love seeing what people create, and delving into how it effects me, but after a while it all starts to mash together and the only things that really stick out cause some sort of reaction starting in my stomach and causing pressure out my ass or mouth; except for the exceptionally mind stirring pieces that are triggered by my own past and current perception, or the ones that I feel like I would create, if I was the one who worked in the way that artist does…
Somehow creative ego stroking through the creation of some one else which reflects aspects of what I do, actually create, myself. At the bottom of the page you can make their own conclusions, they can leave the comments open or ride in some comment-less mystery waiting to be showcased on some variation of an Internet talk show/ podcast/ blog/ vlog/ fill-in-the-blank-with-the-
OK…okay then. How about performance? A “youtoob” channel… what about one of those. Talk about the writers, or the painters, or anyone or just yourself. Performance can be the best thing in the world for all the rightish wrong reasons. And how cool is it, in this day and age, where you can just throw all caution to the wind, in order to put your mug out there in public domain. How crazy is it, that people do stupid, harmful, insane shit to get noticed? How much weirder is it that through all this flotsam and jetsam, there is some beautiful diamonds of truth hiding in the wreckage?
Every voice is being honored, IF they have a device and an Internet connection, people in America have more than one device and they are sharing EVERYTHING. But people in other places are sharing too, some of it rises to the top, but it’s a hard knock life busting through the ad tailored BS and googlification of search and discover on the webs.
I ask, what do I have to say which is anything more profound and I don’t know. I guess, maybe how I say it, but to what point, then I have to figure out advertising and marketing… sheesh… talk about multitasking… but the dreamer in me is SUPER DUPER happy that people are taking the opportunity to do it, IF and WHEN they get called to.
And then I stop for a moment… and I remember this “dreamer.”
I didn’t come here to be famous, or to make a lot of money, or to be anything other than what is job of a creative dreamer and observer. And this could seem like giving up, or just crazy; but to me, it isn’t. From a young age I felt things here were very much against some higher order, but I understand now that they need to be in order for this explosion in expression to occur. We ALL have been very vital in bringing about this vast expression of consciousness.
Admitting this outwardly at times feels like being in some sort of meeting where one announces their addiction, or weakness, their shame.
I, however, do not see this as shame. It is celebratory. It is like coming-out-of-the-closet-
Let me take you back to the beginning of me, Mandie, as an adult leaving home. I had these ideas about what I wanted to do in the world, and it had more to do with a feeling or a philosophy, and less to do with a career, or job. I saw how the potential career in acting could help me share my philosophy. But the Universe stepped in many times, with out causing me to feel “sold out.” I realized very early the aims I had were not in alignment with pursuing that path. This created some conflict for me to a certain degree as we were still in times, when people were not yet as active sharing their ideas through the interwebs.
So I continued to write on paper. And I have accumulated well over 50 journals to date. What do they hold? My very personal story. And yet, not totally mine in how it weaves and overlaps with faces, places, and situations I have known. All this rehash from days past. I could write forever and it would never be enough. I understand the Never Ending Story. I get it… for each time I begin, it is still always the middle, and I can not see the end, so I stopped trying to find one. And took some gigs in Observation.
Which led me to paint more, which led me to artists who were detailing my expression through their own hands and cultivated through the alchemy of their own minds and spirits, situations and perceptions. And I found nothing I did was enough, though it was for me, and about me, it kept speaking to the Greater I AM, which is also YOU. So I stopped creating just for me and used it as a tool to observe and pray. And to create with and through those prayers. To connect with the Others who had Vision.
Today I saw my first painting, done almost 20 years ago, the one I called “Armageddon: Angel through the Flames”. And I remember myself. I love like Arch Angel Micheal with truth that cuts through the bullshit. I walk with bare feet on flames, weightless with out resistance.
A deep sense in me from a young age, knew the Time was with me. The Time we all feel in the depths of our illusory biology. It is why we create, it is that Time, it is those cycles. And we dance in them. Weaving Ourselves together… But we have been in the quickening for sometime. And now we see through the medium at our fingertips that no matter how fast we create, no matter what we do, we are playing the same old stories with no new conclusions.
I am here to tell you the New Conclusions are deep in our heart and resonate with fury.
I did not come here to make money, or fame, or to cajole you into stroking my ego. I came here to remind You of Who You Really Are. Why you feel a need to create. And that the cycles of the old story are within your control, because You are Infinite Creators.
Call me crazy… but listen to your heart first.
(or should I say “dear Mandie Shattuck“) thank you for your contribution to the endless theme of human creativity. Am I correct in my impression that you are diagnosing the crisis of human creativity in the End Times, which can only herald the beginning of something completely new, where creation is no longer a profession, but a way of searching for the personal truth as it should have always been under normal conditions. But nothing on this planet has ever been normal, at least not in the last 20 millennia.
Thank you for overcoming your writing blockage and for having connected with us in the proverbial last minute.
With love and light
Cheers! Yes! I would say this is a diagnosis to that effect. Call me Dr. Shattuck. I have felt it for some time now, but I have had a helluva time attempting to express it in such a way that is not seemingly drenched in fear, sadness, regret, or melancholy. It has been in my meditation and contemplation of how much the money/Orion matrix has bled us dry with nothing really to create further from it. And for that reason and for sometime now it has created a “creative stillness” within me.
These days I only go in to the energy of artistic creation, as part of my calling, and part of my interpretation of the whole. I find it channeled effortlessly through my artistic expressions. Art in all forms for me has always been the thread I need to connect, despite feeling so separate.
Anyway, I have been called to finish some things lately, and this piece has been in the works for some time now… recently, on your site, just days before there was speak of new openings and portals, visions of vortex, I was compelled to work on this piece I have included. Each piece recently has been an energetic layer of our transition through conscious energy…
May you be well and I would love to send you a piece of art if you so desire, but I understand if not, because things such as that seem so trite these days, but meaningful in some way, nonetheless. They are Our prayers and our experience. I honor that which you have contributed to the totality of Our Being.
Love, light and laughter
what kind of Doctor are you? Remember, in the higher dimensions there will be no titles. Please send some more of your paintings, at best the way you have done it now or with an Internet link and not attached to the email, so that I can post them easily on our website. By the way, I like very much your previous poems.
Thank you for the compliments. I will work on getting you links. I suppose it is my joke in the 3D that I am a Doctor of Observation and Communication in the Intergalactic Army of Consciousness.
Most definitely I will share what I can. Many thanks and blessings to you for creating this space for evolution and discourse, my soul sings with it’s cooperative song.
Brilliant Visions and Collective Protamination ~*~
Here is a link to that painting, as well as a couple more that have been part of my prayers/visions.
Just a few for you… many more I could send. Also I will link this page of my wordpress,
which I have found really stirs the hearts of those who have confronted the failing matrix. A nice reminder of hope through chaos with a dash of humor and light hearted language.
May each moment start to sparkle as never before!