January 16, 2013
Anita was dismissed from the hospital on Friday ( Jan11). She is now unable to take in any food and is on TPN (fed intravenously). Intestinal blockages develop in different places for no definitive reason. We have heard several theories mostly concerning small cancer cells which interfere with the intestinal movements. She is not in pain and is rather active considering her condition. I am a full time care giver now.
Despite our wishes to be otherwise, we have a lot of interaction with health care workers. The health care system appears to be sound, but I can see more cracks in its facade each day. Their know-it-all attitude will hopefully soon change. Finally, on our last day in the hospital the doctors admitted that hers was an unusual case. Nothing more can be supposedly done, so we have to wait for the universe to decide its next course.
We both suffer almost nonstop from other symptoms as well.
– Severe gastrointestinal distress
– Burning and dryness in the mouth and throat
– Dizziness and severe fatigue. We are normally out of bed for about two hours at a time
– A sense of hopelessness and loss (which in our case is probably a true assessment).
George, I thought that I had suffered LBP for years but this exceeds anything before. I feel we cannot recover and that we have been crucified and buried deep within the Earth and awaiting resurrection, which never seems to come. Even though my physical condition seems better than Anita, I feel very ill. There never seems to be any good news.
Our sleep is deep, but short and dreams are wild and vivid. Lately I am beginning to develop a sense of apathy, but am not allowed even that because of Anita’s great physical needs.
I would gladly become the first, last or middle ascended master if that is what it takes to get this process moving, which appears to be mired and going nowhere. If Anita recovered it would shock a lot of people. I do feel a connection to source, but think source has turned its back on me for now. George, despite the explanations of you, Dorie and others, there is more explanation that we are not grasping or allowed to grasp. Something more is amiss. What are Anita and my role in all of this? Why is our suffering so great?
I am told by HS that we are the embodiment on Earth of the divine feminine and masculine and our relationship will be the example on the new earth. This seems rather bizarre for ordinary people like us. I am tired of worn out messages and promises from HS and others. I just want to go home. Home to a world that makes sense and a world where it is possible to be happy in a relationship. Home to a world where the good are honored and where we are not dependant on stupid health care systems. Home to a world, where promises from ascended masters and HR actually mean something and we are honored rather than abused. Home to a world, where goodness prevails and evil is not tolerated. I know all of you would be happy in such a world.
Someday we will find it the Rainbow Connection. The Lovers, the Dreamers, and Me.
I am so happy and relieved that you have written to me finally. I knew telepathically that you are in great stress and that Anita’s condition is stable, but has not improved. What is now happening with her body surpasses any normal medical experience and hence I am not able to comment or give you any advise.
I can confirm that the energies are relentless in the last days and that they spiral upwards. I also ask myself how could we possibly survive all this energy blows all the time.
I do not know myself what is better – to leave these battered bodies and ascend through death experience or to “bear the stings and arrows of outrageous fortune” (Shakespeare) on this toxic planet.
It does not make any sense for us, with our humble human minds, and I can very well feel your desperation. I think that we are no longer part of this reality and only exist as avatars of heaven, as long as we can push the ascension process a step further on the ground. I do not see any possibility for us to have a decent human life for a single day with this inhuman energies, devastating our physical bodies.
Therefore, I would give everything if you both could ascend as soon as possible, at best as the first ascended masters and I am confident that you can do it any moment. Considering all this, I am sure that Anita cannot die, but living like this is a real torture for her and even more so for you, who have to witness all this and cannot change the course of the events.
As I said, I can only pray for you now for a quick ascension and I am confident that if the source cannot keep you any longer on the ground in your carbon-based bodies that you will ascend in the blink of an eye. What else could follow? This is the only possible outcome for us.
Dear Jerry, as all the PAT members ask about Anita’s health and your situation daily, I would very much like to publish your email, as many of them worry about you and it is good for them to know that you both are still alive and that, notwithstanding the grievous condition of Anita, she at least does not have any severe pains and does not suffer so mush.
The whole PAT prays for you and I am thinking all day long of you both, especially as I felt telepathically your exhaustion in the last several days.
I will continue with my meditations for you both and send you my healing energies and hope that your situation will improve somewhat in the coming days.
With love and light
if you feel it would be helpful, please post, although I feel it is a rather negative letter. I forgot to tell you one good source of news. My dog, who in 2011 was diagnosed with severe liver failure and given up on by vets has recovered. She continued throughout 2012 functioning, but losing weight and being lethargic. She seem to improve the last two months of 2012, but I had to leave her in a dog kennel, while at the hospital for a month. To my surprise when I picked her up, she had recovered, gained weight and her appetite is ravenous. I can hardly keep up with her. I don’t know if this has any bearing on our condition or not.
this news about you dog is miraculous and any news from you is much better than silence. The PAT members are all experienced in human suffering and they will evaluate your email correctly.
With love and light